Suppose That Awareness Is Illusion (in silico Series, No.13 (2020) 数字艺术 由 Wilf Tilley

Image No.13 takes as its starting point a conversation with a friend about episodic memory, and his poetic meditation on the subject. I believe I was talking about a paper I had worked on concerning a patient with encephalitis who lost her present identity and returned temporarily to a younger self. I began by suggesting that human mental time consists only of the past: episodic memory of what has been: there is no present since what happens now, chronologically, has already passed when perceived by the brain. And our future, for better or worse, is a projected version of our past. However, here is the poem by Nico Mann:

A Meditation

You sit with straight spine calm and attentive
to your breath, you become minutely aware
of the present and your presence in it,
gently observe that you are breathing in
and breathing out. Then just let go and let
the ego dissolve. It’s as simple as that.
Give no thought to the past or you’ll fall prey
to wishing it had never been; give no thought
to the future, lest anxiety take hold.
Thus is the present defined: an interval free
Of unwanted emotions, a still place
That is neither here nor there.

But suppose
that this still place, however much extended
by ever-slower breath, does not exist.
Suppose that awareness is illusion,
a glimpse of a long-closed railway station
on the express main line from past to future
from a train that never stops. And then suppose
that nothing else inhabits those dead platforms
but the carriages of time that hurtle on.
What use awareness then if not mindful
of past regrets not to be repeated,
of future threats for which to be prepared?
Mere passengers, have we no power to change
the speed and destination of our ride?
We need to be transported not just along
that line but over the heights and hollows
of our emotions, through the joys and sorrows
of our lives. Whenever we sit still and breathe
attentively, our attention is redirected
by an intrusive intention: to stop the train,
leap out and plant both feet firm in that station
where we rejoice in laughter, light and life.

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In Silico SeriesWilf TilleyNico MannAwarenessIllusion